JJ Brands

Hello, Wolf Schnauzer reporting live from Monkey’s House once again. For those that don’t know me I’m a world-renowned journalist for CBN, Canine Broadcast Network. I previously was a main-stray at one of the biggest cable news networks, but got off that leash and started sniffing out amazing bone-breaking stories on my own.

Today there is BREAKING news at this world-class sanctuary and I’m the first to report on it. The buzz around Wall Street is the new retailer “JJ Brands” is taking on luxury, sport, and outdoors retailers like Gucci, Nike and LL Bean. I am here with none other than JJ himself, the master-mind behind this brand. So, take a seat and stay as I ask some digging questions.

Wolf: JJ, I love Monkey’s House. We spoke a while back when I was here interviewing your parents, Hercules, Benny, and many others.

JJ: Iz remember and iz sorry iz was a little snappy bacz then.

Wolf: Yes, you were snippy in more ways than one. I have a small scar to prove it too.

JJ: Youz didn’t knowz whoz iz was. Somz world-class reporter. Iz ustz to strivz to be a lot likz you in da daily Monkey’s House updatz. But since then, Iz likez Dan Lather.

Wolf: You are right JJ. Let’s let sleeping dogs lie, like Dottie and Darla over there. I’m here today to do an in-depth report on your push to harness up the fashion industry with JJ Brands.

JJ: Yep, JJ Brands iz soon to be the packz leader in global fashion. All merchandiz offered in da GREEN only.

Wolf: Wait, did I hear that correct? Are you offering your merchandise only in the color green?

JJ: Yes, itz the color that looks da bestezt on da JJ. Itz should be worn by everybodz!

Wolf: Well, I’m no fashion wizard but that makes no sense JJ. I don’t think you, or your JJ Brand, has any merit to sit-and-stay on.

JJ: "Grrrrrrrr", holdz up justz a mintue! Youz sazs da JJ Brandz gotz nuffin. Iz been gettinz nuffin for years now. Da news flash! Iz got somthin bigz… Iz talking - really Bigz in JJ Brandz.

JJ: Checz out the first edition of da Hoodies and Sweatshirts:

JJ Brands - Hoodies

Wolf: You have nice teeth; I have no bones to pick with you JJ. I know you can be (deep swallow) difficult.

JJ: Iz not difficult. Iz alwyz gets nuffin and nowz Iz a mizunderstood fashion genius to bootz. Letz me explain:

Wolf: Okay JJ, let me see the proof - just the facts.

JJ: First, da familyz tooks all my merchandiz cause itz so nice. The lizzle Mousz even stock pilz it.

JJ: Then, da dadz gives da other pupz lotz of treats… butz JJ gotz nuffin. And theyz drollin on mz stuff, checz out Dottie!

JJ: Besides da Mousz wearing my merchidiz, Iz ask for a little lovin, howz about da snugglz for da JJ… nuffin, da Aunt Trazey iz taken alreadz.

Wolf: JJ, you’ve pulled this before. Showing the pictures that fit your narrative. However, I’ve seen tons of pictures of you getting love, snuggles, and treats.

(JJ goes to nip Wolf Schnauzer’s hand, luckily, he pulls it away in time.)

Wolf: Fool me once JJ, but not again.

(JJ give Wolf his famous stink-eye)

Wolf: You have a great Hoodie and Sweatshirt; I love the logo. I’m happy the proceeds support Monkey’s House; it’s such a great sanctuary. Looks like you’re dabbling your paw in the fashion door, but you’ll have a lot more work to take on the top names. I wish you much success.

JJ: Thankz you Mr. Wolfz forz your visit. Iz plannin on rulinz the world! Iz have a spring line Iz workin on nowz.

Wolf in dep thought: "I was hoping this story may have led to a Pupitzer prize for me. But it looks I I just avoided another scar, but sure feels like my ego is scared."

JJ: As youz seen, Iz added a few other colors justz to pleaze "da famous" onz-and-only Wolf Schnauzer. Butz Iz tell youz, JJ Brands is somthin bigz… Iz talkin - Really BIGZ! Once again, checz out the first edition of Hoodies and Sweatshirts:

JJ Brands - Hoodies